Day off

• Grace went to a leadership conference . She said it was interesting and she enjoyed it. 
• Sierra and I ran errands. We went to Lowes and made her a house key. We went to get pedicures. We mailed a package to baby Crawley. We went to Publix. 
• Sierra went to the gym.
• The flex went to action gator and got a brake job.
• I made vegetable soup for dinner and it was yumm.
• We talked to Cora and Ruby on FaceTime.
• We talked to Tatum.
• We talked to the Nevares fam.
• I talked to mom.
• Ethan did homework.
• Grace wrote an essay.
• We discussed at length what to do with Ziva. She’s been peeing in the house (again) we go for months and then problem rears its ugly head again. Our animals are the single biggest stressor in my life. And I kid you not. I have been through some stuff ( as has literally every person I have ever known...that is the nature of mortality ) and animal stress is high up on my list of life’s difficulties. Which you may think means my life has been easy but no, what it means is this is hard.
• A short list, not all inclusive, but the highlights reel of difficulties to illustrate:

1. I was a dumb kid. Not even kidding, I was pulled out for special lessons, dyslexia and dysgraphia were part of my early challenges. 
2. I wore headgear to school.
3. We were poor, although in fairness I didn’t know and didn’t think it was a challenge... but 7 kids on a teachers salary is poor!
4. I was touched inappropriately in elementary school (1 in 4 ).
5. I was a teen mom.
6. I was in an abusive marriage. (Physical, emotional, cheating, drinking, etc)
7. I got a divorce. (Guilt, and sadness)
8. I had cancer.
9. I blended a family. (That was way harder than I expected)
10. We moved said family across the US a few times (which is fun and hard in equal parts).
11. I have had teens who have had some real struggles and challenges. 
12. And little kids with real struggles and challenges. 
13. I have mourned for friends who have had tragic losses.
14. I have prayed hard and worried hard for beloved siblings with health and personal trails. 
15. I have not been the mom or wife or sister or friend that I wanted to be more times than I can count. And my children, who I love more than anything, have paid the price for that. Which is the hardest part.
16. I have had to repent, redirect and renew my resolve more times than I can count. 
17. I have dealt with anxiety and take meds for it.
18. I have had debilitating back pain (bulging disks) that left me bedridden and unable to walk for over a month. (That was scary and awful)
19. I pee myself a little when I sneeze or jump or...(10 pregnancies will do that to you).
20. We have had 4 miscarriages. 
21. I don’t know how to do many of the things that I have muddled through.
22. I am fat.
23. And a little lazy.
24. And I have pets.

Don’t cry for me though everyone else has the same list, different details.