Elevator

 God answers our prayers.  I've been thinking about that a lot lately and trying to be very mindful of my prayer life. We have been praying for many months (think 9) for the safe and healthy delivery of Baby Johnson.  I specifically asked for a vbac for Jenna, and a delivery that would help erase some of the birth trauma she must have experienced with the girls birth almost 4 years ago.  Yesterday that prayer was answered in a big way.  Jenna and Clayton welcomed baby Darcy Ella to earth.  She is a beautiful baby and I can't wait to go and help out and to get some baby snuggles.  Jenna said her birth went perfectly, it was quick and she had a great epidural and all is well. 💕.  God is good!

I listened to a good book this month driving to work.  It's called "Learning to Pray" by James Martin, S.J.  He is a Jesuit priest so it was very Catholic in flavor but I found his stories inspiring and his advice was really good.  I was taught to pray by my parents when I was little, and in primary, and in all the regular places.  When we went to San Francisco many times a year Baba Olya also taught me to pray the way she did.  She was Russian Orthodox and her prayers involved an icon.  Even though it was very different it still felt like Heavenly Father was hearing our prayers.  I remember a couple of times going to church with her and Baba Katya, and a couple of times to Christmas Eve mass with Aunt Sonya (a catholic).  I enjoyed both kinds of services and I think I have always known that there are great truths in the world and that all of God's children have access to those truths.  I love learning about what other people believe and what brings them closer to Heavenly Father.  

That said I am ever grateful that we have been blessed with the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and can enjoy the fullness of those blessings.

One thing he talked about was remembering to be grateful when a prayer is answered and giving the "credit" to Heavenly Father.  

Yesterday I listened to a BYU devotional on the way to work.  It was given by Elder Holland, who not only is a special witness of Jesus Christ, one of his living Apostles on the earth today, but who is also a very eloquent and skilled orator.  He is a wordsmith of the highest caliber and his talks not only delight the spirit but enliven the mind.  He shared the story of Troy and Deedra Russel from Henderson Nevada.  7 years ago their 9 year old son was tragically killed when Troy accidentally ran over him with his truck.  What an awful, awful trail.  Losing a child is right at the top of the list of things you never want to have happen.  Late last year Deedra was driving on I-15 and was hit by a drunk driver.  She barely survived and has been in the hospital recovering for many many months. Elder Holland went on to share several important life lessons that we all need to take into our lives.  I won't write them all here but I will share one thought that really jumped out at me.  He said " we ought to acknowledge the tears of a Heavenly Father who simply asks us to take care of one another, to be careful rather than reckless with the well-being of our sisters and our brothers.  Childlike obedience to His parental calls and divine warnings will spare us and others agony in the end.  Thus the cry of His Only Begotten Son: "If you love me, keep my commandments". It is part of the apostolic burden for us to stand with the Savior in this request.  We always extend our love - always- but we are morally obligated to ask for obedience to the commandments as evidence of that affection".  I really loved this because first there are so many blessings that come from obedience.  Second I felt the weight of his description of the burden of discipleship.  The loving people part is sometimes easier than the teaching obedience part.  Especially when you are working with teenagers, or someone who doesn't have the fullness of the gospel, or who did have it but who has strayed.  We can not uncouple what the Lord has put together. If you love me, keep my commandments. (and in my words if you love someone else teach them how to come unto Christ by keeping the commandments).

Anyway that story obviously resonated with me.  I am SOOO grateful for the impossible miracle we were blessed with in Sierra's survival.  My heart breaks for the Russel family, I remember well the dark nights and difficult days when Sierra was in the hospital in those early weeks of her recovery.  I can not imagine enduring months and months of that. We prayed many prayers and our petitions were answered.  I also related to their losing their son.  I didn't lose my son but Val & Ryan did and that is a nightmare that we (their family) have walked with them the best we could, or can.  I have prayed many prayers on their behalf and I have seen those prayers answered.  Even though my role is small and peripheral I know that the prayers of loved ones are heard and answered.  I know a lot of people love Val and Ryan and Tanner and that as we have lifted our prayers to Him who can ease their burden, who does walk with them, who has embraced Tanner as a faithful son and who works daily miracles in their lives those prayers are answered and they are blessed. Conversely I have also tangibly felt the many prayers that sustained our family when Sierra had her accident. I am grateful for the wonderful gift of prayer.  (even as I know I could do better, could be more faithful, more diligent, more sincere)

Which brings me to my last thought on this chilly January day.  This morning's driving devotional was by Ruth and Dale Renlund given in Dec 2019.  Elder Renlund shared an "embarrassing story" one he was unwilling to even tell his wife for some many years since he was so ashamed.  After medical school for him, and law school for Ruth the Renlund family moved to Baltimore MD for his internship. He said this was a grueling many years of working every day, and every third night and that sometimes he didn't get to go to church with his family.  In fact about half the time he didn't.  One particular week he had worked all day, then the whole of the night, and it was Sunday morning and he realized if he hurried he could finish in time to go with his family to church at 2pm.  They lived across the street from the hospital and only had one car so he had to be home before his wife and daughter left. Then he realized that if he slowed down his efforts just a little bit he would get home after 2.  It would be too late to go to church as the family would have already left, and he could take a nap.  He said he is ashamed to admit that he did just that.  He came home at 2:15 and lay down on the couch to rest. He could not sleep though, he was profoundly disturbed.  He said he had always loved to go to church.  He always felt a burning testimony of Christ's living reality. But the intensity that day, was not there.  He then got off the couch and knelt on the floor to plead with God for forgiveness. While he was praying a plan formulated in his mind and he came up with some ways to change his behaviors to always include the personal, private acts of devotion that are necessary to sustain us and keep us strong. 

His talk was powerful and his advice was wonderful.  Also imagine if that was your most embarrassing sin...choosing to nap instead of go to church one week.  I imagine that does not even register on the radar of sins by most people.  Luckily we are not all judged by the Apostle yard stick.  Luckily we all can learn and grow, change and repent...and when our hearts are nudged to be better we can be better. I am so grateful for that blessing. I am grateful for the answers to my prayers of contrition, my pleas for forgiveness, my petitions for guidance and grace. 

Here's another biggie.  After 18 years of praying for Ethan to be a good missionary, 18 years of making what feeble efforts we could muster to raise him right and teach him, he is in fact a good missionary.  I love to read his letters and to talk with him late (too late) on Monday nights.  I keep praying and am grateful that God knows and loves his son, my boy Ethan, and I know that it is an answer to those prayers much more than a result of our efforts that he is the man he is.