random thoughts on an easter/ conference weekend

 

We got our first picture text from a stranger. Ethan and his companion dying eggs!  It was so fun to see him.  I am so proud of him and what good work he is doing.  I couldn't help but think about my brother Michael when he was on his mission.  It was a long time ago and I don't really remember getting lots of pictures or hearing from him a lot.  I wrote to him every week and when he came home it was such a fun family weekend.  We were all there and we were so excited to see him and to hear all his mission stories.  He was an amazing missionary.  We sat around the piano and sang together for hours, we took silly pictures, we listened to him tell story after story. It was really fun.

Sadly his life has taken such a turn for the worse.  It was slow...for a long time he was doing well, and honestly we have never lived near each other as adults or spent a lot of time chatting, so I was not witness to the day to day. Basically I would see him at family gatherings when we went to Utah.  He flew out to TX once, when Hannah was born, we visited him in NC once when he was doing summer sales, other than that it was when we were meeting at mom's house, so I don't know how it happened, but slowly I knew it was happening.  He stopped keeping the commandments and living by the covenants he made.  He was a successful entrepreneur but lived a party life style.  Eventually he married JaNee and they started their family.  Things seemed to be better for awhile.  They were loving parents, went to the temple, had two sweet kids. It didn't last though and Michael spiraled down a sad rabbit hole.  He stopped working regular jobs and got into growing and "selling" CBD products.  I'm not sure he actually sold any.  I won't go into specifics, out of respect for my mom's wishes, but things have been bad.  He is now getting divorced and barely gets to see the kids (which I think we all feel is for the best) JaNee is working and taking care of them. Mom and Dad sold their house and are living with Em while they are building a new one in a retirement community (basically to get away from him). He asks everyone for money.  Several of the siblings have had to block his number, including me now, not because we don't want to be asked but because when we say no he goes nuts.  It is the saddest thing and I don't know what to do.  I wish I could help, I wish things were different, I feel guilty that I don't /can't/won't help. I also was selfishly mad because the big blow up between he and I happened during conference weekend and so distracted me from my favorite weekend of the year. Mostly though I am sad that things are awful and I'm at a loss and he feels lost.  It's been a problem for 2 decades, just at varying degrees of seriousness so it's not a shock or surprise, just sad. And what do we do?

This is also Easter weekend. 

 Yesterday Grace went to celebrate Kaylynn's birthday all day.  They went to a smash room and to OG and to her house.  They had a great time . I am also mad yesterday because Kaylynn's family is the one who took Ziva.  I told her at the time that she went there that if they ever wanted to give her away not to and we would take her back. Then after she actually went there I was regretting it and told her if she wanted to give her back I'd want her back.  Then last week she asked me if it was okay to give Z to their neighbor who has little kids because she thought Z would be happier.  I said no, if you don't want her we want her back. Yesterday I found out they did give her to the neighbor. I felt betrayed and mad. I don't want Z being passed around, it was super frustrating.  

Tatum is graduating from elementary school.  What?? She's such a darling girl.  This morning I chatted with them.  They told me all about the jeep adventures in the desert! Also they got bunnies for easter that are the cutest little things! Marshall can do a flip on the trampoline. Did I report that Dani is finally living her dream and sold the minivan and got a jeep.  She's always wanted one!

We had book club on Friday.  Everyone hated the book.  It was still fun to talk to everyone. Tori sent me a mezuzah as thanks for their visit.  Now I have a little corner of Israel in my own house! The top picture is my Christmas present from Hannah, and the Shalom plaque is from Bethlehem.  

This cute boy had his first easter egg hunt.  They hid one raisin in each plastic egg.  So fun! I watched his video like 10 times getting his little egg.

We are down to one little Easter basket now. Our Easter was quiet.  We talked to Nana this morning.  She is looking good and recovering from her surgery.

Yesterday we had four missionaries over for dinner.  Rob made brisket and jalapeño stuffed chicken.  He cooks more meat now that he has the smoker than he had before.  I made baked beans, green fluff, broccoli, corn bread, deviled eggs and served ice cream for dessert.  It was fun to visit with them.  While Elder Smith was eating the green fluff he was saying he'd never had it before.  We were shocked as it's a pot luck staple.  His companion ratted him out and told us he was a convert.  He's only been a member for less than two years. Of course we made him tell us the story.  His parents are jewish, he went to synagogue but only socially. In high school his friend invited him to run cross country, which he did and he because great friends with the other kids on the team who were mostly members of the church.  Their senior year his girl friend, a member of the team and the church, invited him to church.  He went and thought it was kind of nuts (fast and testimony meeting) until the last testimony (the bishop) who was powerful and really touched him.  He asked a friend to get him a BOM on the down low and read it and referred himself to the missionaries.  He got baptized and went off to college where he remained active and loved going to institute.  At some point he felt impressed that the Lord wanted him to serve a mission so he applied and got his call to Portugal.  Then he had to go to his parents and tell them that he was going to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for two years in a foreign country.  They were shocked and asked him why.  He then told them that he was baptized (a year ago) and knew the church was true.  He said they've been supportive.  Anyway, that was a fun story and he is a cute missionary.

My Saturday conf watching buddies

Grace has been coughing and I have had a stuffy nose.  We are both fine, it's probably allergies. 

Our cute Easter table. I wish we lived close to family but that’s not our season.

The Brandt’s got bunnies! How cute is that?

I loved general conference. Even having missed some focus during some talks I still felt the spirit and have such love for the Savior. He suffered for all this mess, and all the things that are hard, and all our sins. How did he do that? I don’t know how but I know why...he loves us. It’s the only reason there is to be willingly to pay such an infinite cost.