Well, it was a day. We went to the doctor and got good news/bad news. Good news it’s not EDS related. Good news it’s not gastroparesis. Good news it can be fixed. Probably. Bad news it’s not going to be quick or easy. 

She was diagnosed with rumination syndrome. I’d never heard of it. From the internet:

Rumination syndrome, or merycism, is a chronic motilitydisorder characterized by effortless regurgitation of most meals following consumption, due to the involuntary contraction of the muscles around the abdomen.^[1] There is no retching, nausea, heartburn, odour, or abdominal pain associated with the regurgitation, as there is with typical vomiting, and the regurgitated food is undigested. The disorder has been historically documented as affecting only infants, young children, and people with cognitive disabilities (the prevalence is as high as 10% in institutionalized patients with various mental disabilities). It is increasingly being diagnosed in a greater number of otherwise healthy adolescents and adults, though there is a lack of awareness of the condition by doctors, patients and the general public.

 So it’s not an eating disorder or a mental illness but rather a reaction to stress, like PTSD. We were taken aback by the diagnosis. It is rare but Grace’s doctor does have 4 other patients right now who she is also working with that also have the same diagnosis.

Grace said to the doctor that she isn’t stressed. 

But here’s the thing, Grace is very mentally tough. She is a fighter and a go getter. Everyone has stuff. I said to her, and the doctor, that I didn’t see it that way. 

First off  she is a rising senior. This is a stressful time for everyone. You are on the cusp of adulthood. Huge decisions lay ahead of you. Many young people leave home for the first time at the end of high school. Many are deciding where to go to school, what to study, who to be. 

Second she lives with a life long chronic illness that is always exhibiting  new symptoms on her and which is unlikely to get better. How could that not be stressful? 

Next we are moving across the country, again stressful by definition. She was planning on going to school in Florida and being near us or even living with us. That safety net is no longer available since we are leaving. She could easily feel abandoned and resentful. (Stress). Also she has a difficult relationship with her dad, and feels like I am not a great advocate for her. Again, stress. She’s actually been asking to go to therapy for that for awhile. 

The doctor said oh yes that is a lot. 

So there are a couple of pieces that will have to work together to get Grace past this. First she’s going to start seeing an integrated medicine specialist who will

help her learn how to manage the physical stuff. She will see a counselor. She already met with a dietician once and will continue to, she will have blood work done every 3 weeks and sew the GI every 3 weeks. We also need to squeeze in visits with the rheumatologist. I don’t know how I’m going to work and get that done. 

I walked out of there feeling like someone threw a grenade at me. I feel terrible for Grace, although grateful that in a few months this could be in the past. I also feel so sad about it, and responsible.  Mothers jobs are to teach, love, advocate for, help in every way. So although it’s not about me it is something staring me in the face and  I wish I had done things  differently. Maybe we wouldn’t be having this particular problem.

It’s a lot to process. Life is so interesting. There is always a new challenge, a new joy too, but for today it feels more like a challenge. Thankfully each trial, experience, joy and defeat, all the things, gives us the opportunity to walk with Christ. To let him carry our heavy burdens, to be sanctified by Him, they allow us to get to know Him even more. Each day we choose to grow in faith and to see His hand in our lives or to give up. I choose faith. 

Also I made peach pie, for dinner.