rabbit hole

I started searching for pictures of us enjoying our backyard pool.  Which spiraled into a walk down memory lane.  I love my blog for this very reason.  Taken on lots of different days.  We had friends over all.the.time!

This one is at the Petty’s pool. I included it because Grace looks so funny!!

Last day of March

No Drama Llama, Yahtzee, Phase 10

We play and keep each other company.

We spend more time sitting outside than we have ever, ever in our lives done before. Well not really, when the kids were little and we spent our whole days out by the pool with the kids swimming and having friends over (those happy golden days of being with other people and doing fun things) we spent a lot of time outside.  Now I just sit there.  Reading, looking at the trees, talking on the phone, sitting side by side with Sierra and sometimes Bub.

One perk is I have time for midnight movies.  Last night I was taking Ziva out around 11:30 and Ethan was up and asked me if I wanted to watch Robin Hood with him.  I thought about it for about 2 seconds and realized why not? If I'm tired tomorrow I'll just take a nap.  Also I haven't really been sleeping great.  So we watched the Kevin Costner version, which he hadn't seen, and it was fun to see.  I still woke up "on time" whatever that means.  We don't get up at 5:15am any more (hallelujah!).  I usually wake up before 8, and I still did.  I also did take an hour long nap.  I put on waves on the TV, with the sweet sound of the surf, and I closed our door and me and Z snoozed.

So I worked for a few hours.  Then we had lunch together.  Rob went in to work.  Yesterday he worked from home.  I am grateful that he has a job.  We have friends who aren't working now and that is awful.  Besides the world ending to have no money coming in is even more terrible. 

We aren't used to being home all the time.  We aren't used to all this stress and worry.

Bad things

My sisters are upset about the whole donor situation.  Of course. So that is hard. 

I have lots of friends in bad situations, with bad health (like they are dying or their kids are OR regular bad health)  Friends who are unemployed, depressed, scared.

We are bored and feeling upset and uncertain.

We are grumpy and sometimes short with each other. 

We wonder what is coming next.

We are far from family and that is bad always but especially now.

Good things

FaceTime (thank goodness for that)

we have food and toilet paper and all that we need

In the morning when I walk the dogs I see birds and I enjoy the smell and the crunch of the pine needles by the dog park.

We are all healthy

Conference is coming up

We can pray and read and find peace

We can go out and get dinner if we want.

The kids are able to learn at home and keep in touch with friends online.

Our family is in good health.

It's not snowing here.

Our pool area is nice and pleasant to sit in.

(I am virtually shopping for some nice furniture for back there and I enjoy looking at the stuff even if I never push purchase)

We have books and projects to do.

Today is Tuesday which means new NCIS day.

Tomorrow is new Survivor day and new Seal Team day

I like the smell of our hand soap.

I think Disney will open again....will it?  Lets go with yes.

Our clothes and dishes are clean.

We have hot water.

People put fun and creative things on line to share and pass the time.

Summer is coming....

Double birthday!

Today is Ruby and Cora’s birthday. They are two years old!!!

What a joy and delight they are. I love to talk to them on the phone and to see all the things they are learning. They are good at puzzles, listening to stories, running around, singing, playing with their babies, and going outside to play. 

They love their cousins, Aunt Dani, Batman, and of course Mimi❤️

This morning we read books, and I watched them put on their swimsuits, and sang them birthday songs and they sang the wheels on the bus. 

Fast Sunday

I believe in the power of fasting and prayer. I believe in the power of God and in our great blessing of being able to call on Him in times of need. He is a God of miracles, today just as he was in the days of Adam, Moses, Peter and Paul. Today we had a world wide fast. Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, as well as people of faith around the world. Today we joined our voices with others to plead for relief.
Will He hear and answer our prayers. Yes. Definitely yes.
Now we wait on the Lord. (And continue to petition Him with our prayers)

Today’s movie: the fire of faith. Loved it!
Today’s games: Yahtzee and Code Names.
Today’s dinner: tri tip, veggies.
Today’s FaceTime: Dani, Val, Hannah and Mom.
Number of dog walks today: 5

Where we spend our days.

Ready for dinner, nothing tastes as good as dinner on a fast Sunday.

H.o.m.e.

Marshall got his kiwi crate today. He made a really cool kaleidoscope. He put it on the phone camera and I could see it too! I also talked with Ruby and Cora! We read a book and sang some songs and I watched them put together puzzles!

I ❤️ Being a Mimi!

I also talked to Val and Anna and to Julia. 

Grace, Sierra and I played phase 10.

Ethan requested kabobs for dinner. They turned out yummy!

what day is it?

Day one of working at home.  I didn't actually do much but I got logged on and looked if there were any urgent things to do ...which there were not.  So there you go.  

Rob also worked at home.  His boss has CoVid and is in the hospital.  There are others at his work that have it too.  That is hitting pretty close to home.  Hopefully the social distancing thing will really help. 

Rob worked in the yard, he trimmed a bunch of our trees.  He and Ethan cleaned up after and bundled the branches and stacked them for pick up next week.  There was cleaning up inside.  There is always something to clean.  I need Cinderella's helpers, or Rupunzel's good schedule, maybe then we'd have everything done at once, for once. 

Val got her test results.  She is European Jewish, with some Irish thrown in to the mix.  We always knew she was exotic;) and we had some fun looking at everyone's results (who have them already).  It is still super crazy.  What a nutty year!!  I am excited to start celebrating Jewish holidays, and being hygge.  Why not?!  We have to look at the bright side.

Dani and Greg put an offer on a house, and have an offer on theirs.  If all goes smoothly they will have a much larger home soon, and they will get chickens for the backyard.  I hope it goes well.  Jenna and Clayton are looking at the house next door to the one Dani and Greg are buying and may put an offer on it today.  How nice would that be?  To live next door to your sister and to have the cousins right there growing up together!

 Ruby and Cora had their 2 year old check up today.  They are healthy and short and awesome!  Cora may need glasses so we will see how that goes.  Their birthday is Monday, I wish I was there to celebrate, and I wish that the world was not on lock down!

Hannah and Sawyer are having a lot of stress.  BYU I is not having students on campus next semester and sent out notices that students should not return to campus if they are not there now.  They have an apartment on campus and are scheduled to go back in May.  Now all classes will be online until fall, which is okay, but they still need to live somewhere.  Their current lease is up at the end of April, and their apartment is more expensive than they can really afford in the long run.  They only took it for her internship, (which is going well luckily, and is almost over.) I know it's so stressful to feel homeless and out of control when there is a little baby on the way.  They are in my prayers extra, extra right now.

Grace has been playing the clarinet non-stop.  

Tonight I sat outside with the dogs, by the pool, and just enjoyed the quiet of the night and the sounds of the bugs.  It was a calm pause.

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After scriptures and prayers tonight Sierra and Ethan had a little soccer scrimmage in our room.  Ethan "won". 

Staying home

Starting tonight we are on lock down. I will be working from home. Rob has papers so he can still go to work.  Hopefully all this social distancing works and the virus slows way down. 

Sunday we are having a world wide fast. Many nations and faiths are also having days of prayer. All those petitions will be heard. 

I just don’t know

From day to day, hour to hour things change. We are good here in the Utzinger home. Rob has work. He also has his kayak for some after work stress relief.

I have work. For now. The governor gave a stay home order starting Thursday night. I don’t know if that means us or not.

We had a zoom presidency meeting tonight. That went well. It was short, just touching base. We talked about how to support the girls during this time of uncertainty. I dropped some treats off today to most of the girls. Laurie helped out with the ones I couldn’t get to. I TPed them with storage bag that had a letter, a roll of toilet paper and some Hershey kisses in it. I think they appreciated it. Anyway it was the only thing I could think to do.

it's okay right now

Last night as I knelt to pray I felt the spirit strongly whisper to my heart a feeling of peace and calm and a warm hug.  I thought to myself, well it's going to be alright.  Then the thought came, clear and concise, "it's all right now".  I pondered on that as I was saying the things I was grateful for, and asking for blessings for myself and for many others.  I believe in Jesus Christ.  I believe in the power of prayer.  I believe that God knows me and has a plan not only for me but for all of His children and this is part of His plan and it's all right.  It's okay to be in the middle of hard and awful and disappointing things.  It's okay to be worried, and out of sorts.  We need to remember that this is His plan.  Our testing and trying is the plan.  Our struggles are all right, our pain is okay.  We will be fine.  All is well.  I want to fix things, to make them easy and fun and magical for those I love and those I serve.  There are, of course, many things that I can't fix and many things that are difficult.  One difficult aspect to this pandemic is that the struggle is global.  Usually things are going along fine, world wide, and individuals have challenges and trails.  That's what we are used to. Now the whole world is upside down and we aren't used to that at all.  Our future is uncertain, but that’s okay, we know for certain who wins. He already did. Jesus wins and since He won we win.

Right after work I went to Walmart. We’ve been on a daily search for toilet paper. It’s been a no go. Now we actually have some. Probably 20-25 rolls in the laundry room, but the idea that we might run out was really driving me. So I was delighted to see an empty aisle, again. Not really but what was great is someone asked “are you looking for toilet paper?” And when I said yes they said we are bringing  out a pallet now, line up here. So I dutifully lined up, with the other lucky shoppers (and in fashion very reminiscent of the lines for supplies you read about in books set in war torn Europe) and I scored a package. Each shopper was allowed one. I called Sierra and told her to get over to the store ASAP and to buy one, which she did. That was exciting!

Tonight after dinner Rob and I drove to friends homes and delivered toilet paper (and Diet Coke in one case) to spread a little pandemic survival cheer.

I am loving the QH ward nightly devotional. I am loving spending more time chatting with family on line. I am loving the beautiful weather and most of all I love the increase of feeling dependent on the Lord that is all around. Like the feeling of Christmas when we all think about the Saviors birth, during trials people look to Him for peace and guidance.

much to say about nothing

All the employees were called back today.  After today some will be working at home, teachers and counselors need to be available to students online 3 hours a day.  Clerical employees and administrators will be on campus.  I will only be working from 9-1, but with full pay.  Mainly I will be answering the phone and helping with random other things like ordering transcripts or keeping our records up to date.  It's pretty empty at school so I guess social distancing will be easy.  It was good to see everyone today.  I will be bringing a book with me for the foreseeable future since I will likely have lots of time to read.

When I got home I face-timed with Penny and all the kids and Hannah.  I love group FaceTime. Kit finally arrived in Utah and Penny and Tatum and Dani gave us a fashion show!  Kit and Aubrey (Kits friend) looked so cute in all the outfits and cute Penn was so happy to have her back.

Hannah was getting ready for her ultrasound and we were keeping her company.  Ezra's last ultrasound was a little suspicious so they had a more in-depth one.  Everything looked great! His heart is great! He is growing great! and he is very cute!!

I also talked to Cora and Ruby.  They sang for me, played ring around the rosies, jumped, crawled, ran to the door and back, and told me about the muffins they were making. I can't believe they are going to be 2!!  So exciting. They are getting so big.

The worst kind of social distancing is because we live far away from family and are always distant.  I think we've actually been talking more, since everyone is stuck at home.  Anna and her men are doing well.  Spencer is being sent home.  Missionaries around the world are being sent back to their homes to quarantine for two weeks and then, depending on how long they've been out, to be reassigned to a mission in the states.  This is, of course, heartbreaking for the people they are leaving, for the missionaries, and for their moms.  It's such a hard and strange time.  The important thing is to serve our Lord.  It's hard when you have one idea in mind for a whole lifetime of raising a boy, or growing up, and then to have everything change.  I guess we need to have faith and trust Him. We have also had senior missionaries being sent home . I feel so bad for them too. I have been thinking about serving a mission with Rob since we were married and I would be so sad to be sent home early.  Again we just need to know that his plan is greater than our plans.

Ethan and Sierra made watermelon lemonade and it was really delicious.  I  thought it was so refreshing and yummy.  I am looking forward to  more glasses in the future.

Jackson is back from his trip.  Ethan will now have a buddy to spend time with. Phew.  I know social distancing is important...but so is sanity.  I think throwing balls around together outside is a safe enough distance.  

Our family all seems to be in good health, for which I am very grateful.

Our cupboards are full of food.  Our AC works.  Our TV and books and musical instruments and projects keep us entertained. We have FaceTime.We both have jobs.  The kids are able to learn at home, and have laptops to distance learn.  Sierra is here with us, safe and helpful.  We have the word of the Lord, a living prophet, the ability to freely pray and the resources to be of help.  Today we saw an alligator on our walk, and the sun was shining brightly.  We have a lot to be grateful for.  Someday, soon maybe, the Savior will return and we will kneel at his feet and worship Him! He will reign in peace and love and it will be wonderful, wonderful!!

Sabbath day of cheer

We have become porch sitters. Front and back. Look how much tanner Rob is than I am. It’s all those hours out fishing.
One huge plus to social distancing is the forced time with your family, and the increase in time spent outside by it seems like everyone. Of course in Florida the weather is perfectly lovely and beckons us outside. I haven’t seen so many people taking family bike rides, walks, jogs, or time to sit outside in their yards.

Sierra saw this guy on her walk. I saw a couple of squirrels and some birds. I’m jealous.

Rob made dinner. It was really delicious. I made a bowl of fruit salad yummy yummy 🎶 to go with it. We also had a nice sacrament meeting. Sierra and I watched Killers and Rob and I watched Aeronauts today. Good movies both. We also FaceTimed and the highlight of the day: the Brandt’s made an awesome stop motion BOM story video. It was fun to watch 10x (so far!)

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I made breakfast and I made dinner. Anything else anyone ate they were on their own for. 

Like the classic movie Groundhog Day our day was the same:

We walked dogs.

We cleaned stuff and folded laundry.

Rob fished.

Ethan and Sierra worked out.

Grace FaceTimed friends, practiced her clarinet and did my hair.

Rob took Grace driving. The day she got her permit she asked me and I just could not. It is the worst most stressful thing. I mean I will drive with her but I just couldn’t that day. Since then she’s gone with dad twice and Si once and I haven’t had to go!

I worked on my blanket.

Sierra and I watched “onward” and we both liked it.

I sat outside.

Rob worked in the yard.

FaceTimed some family members.

We gathered in the bedroom for scriptures and prayer. 

Ethan practiced the piano.

I read.

Not out of toilet paper yet. Also none to be found in stores yet. 

Time

 It’s sunny and beautiful outside. Rob went fishing and worked in the yard. Grace and Rob went driving. The gym is closed so Sierra and Ethan worked out in the living room. I talked on the phone with the family.
Yesterday was Sawyer’s birthday. He and Hannah are doing well. She’s busy with her internship, which she likes, school, and making a baby. I’m sure a lot is on their minds as they prepare for their first little one in this time of crazy.
What else? No new madness has been announced today. The virus count is on going, the economy is in the tank, and people’s lives are on hold.

Oh something fun! Dani sent me a cute package! It was so fun to get! and to have something new with a sweet note.

First day of spring

We sat outside today. I am reading a fun book, “ Wild life, dispatches of a childhood filled with baboons and button downs “, it’s about a girl who is raised by primatologist parents. She writes about living in Africa, and sometimes in the U.S.

Rob got a little bonus last year and he bought a fishing kayak. He had to order it and today we went to pick it up. Don’t worry we definitely practiced social distancing. We had to drive to the middle of nowhere Fl and one guy was working there. His place was more warehouse than store. It was a pretty drive though and Rob was very excited to finally get his boat.

Also in other Rob news he is now the IPT lead so that is awesome!

Fun wall in the warehouse front.

Rob and his new boat and the guy who sold it to him.

Tatum is getting so big! Look at her babysitting those cute twins!

Grace has been bored. We are all bored. Ethan is grumpy. There’s a lot going on for him. Will he get a graduation? We don’t know. Will there be an MTC for him or even a call at the time he expects? We don’t know. The normally stressful senior year and the usual uncertainty and trepidation about the future is amplified so much by the events of the world.

We are all bored, grumpy, uncertain. 

Sierra and I watched some art tutorials today. So that was fun.

Grace has been painting and playing the clarinet.

Ethan has been teaching himself hymns in the simplified piano book and logging lots of video game hours.

Sierra has been applying for jobs and working on a puzzle.

I have been putting things into online shopping carts and not buying them and working on my blanket.